As a result, the question has been asked: Should you be dating a widower as a divorcee, and visa-versa?For one member who has recently come out of a relationship (we’ll call him “Howard” since he did not want his name to be shared), said that it’s not something that he would be willing to do again.Simply ask your questions respectfully, so it is not regarded as prying but as a genuine interest in the deceased spouse and their relationship.If you pay close attention, you actually may learn many interesting things about your new partner, for example: how he/she views the world; how he/she treats a partner; likes and dislikes, etc.A late spouse was most probably a very big part of your new partner's life and to get upset every time his/her name is mentioned makes for a very uncomfortable situation - for both of you.It is important, especially at the beginning of a relationship, to allow the widow/er to talk freely about his or her late spouse.As a recent divorcee, he had begun a new relationship with a widow and at the time they dated, thought that he had finally found “the one.” He felt like his ex-wife was never really his soul mate and that his soul mate was still out there, and it was Terry (also a fake name to protect identities).Unfortunately, as the months passed, Howard realized that Terry didn’t consider him her soul mate. She even called out her late husband’s name during intimate moments with Howard. Howard knew he would never live up to the memory of Terry’s late husband and didn’t feel he could continue when they didn’t both think they had found their soul mate.
However, some bumps along the process could possibly be avoided by not “crossing the border” from widow to divorcee.
But should widowers and widows dating divorcees have to worry about their relationship? And if divorced, should they only date other divorcees?
What’s the combination that will give you the best chance for true companionship?
It's important to remember, though, that moving on is not about ‘replacing’ or ‘forgetting’ about your loved one – it's about allowing yourself room for both treasured memories and new happiness.
This can mean different things for different people: some may want to get remarried, while others might want to start with friendship and go from there.