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But in the emotional realm, our behavior is far easier to rationalize, even to ourselves: “Oh, he’s just a friend,” or, “Those five-paragraph emails I spend 45 minutes composing are In her 2015 TED Talk, “Rethinking Infidelity,” relationship therapist and cheating expert Esther Perel defines an affair in the broadest terms: “It brings together the three key elements: a secretive relationship, which is the core structure of an affair; an emotional connection to one degree or another; and a sexual alchemy.

But betrayal can be far less impressive than all that.For the next couple of weeks, the girls remained watchful for malware, insidious software capable of wreaking all sorts of havoc.But with no sign of trouble on their machines—no slow performance, no deleted files, no alerts from antivirus programs—they pretty much forgot about it. Suzy, Melissa, and Nila went about their lives online and off.She has never filed a lawsuit against anyone for any reason.And she has struggled with her decision to file this lawsuit — she is justifiably concerned about the effect this lawsuit will have on her career.